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Is There a Chance Your Biology Will Take Over at Your Thanksgiving Gathering?

Writer's picture: Tonya TiggettTonya Tiggett

Heading into a holiday, sometimes our stress in preparing to host others can trigger our biology to create a less-than-ideal energy for ourselves and others. Sometimes it is the biology of our friends and family that also takes over during such a time of gathering.


If my biology is going to override my attempt to control the energy I put out, then why even make the effort to do something about what I put out there to others?



It Starts with Awareness.

Leading up to our December 8th, Thankful Thursday program with Coach Irene O’Neill, Irene and I chatted about this tricky aspect of our biology and what we can do about it, to better understand what we’re up against. If our biology is like Oz behind the curtain, controlling our impulses and our energetic output, which of course creates a great, mediocre, or less than desirable (perhaps even awful) experience for others who interact with us, then why bother trying to control it?


Here’s a snippet of my conversation with Irene, and an example of what to look forward to in our program on the 8th, which she will facilitate and enlighten us on our biology and the leadership impact it has.


TT: Irene, if my ability to influence or control the type of energy I put out is going to be thwarted by my biology, then why make the effort to do anything, because – my biology is just going to take over, no matter the effort I make. Right?


IO: So, I think what you’re asking is – where is the choice point – if our biology is going to take over, where is the choice point to make a different decision or impact or to affect my energy?


TT: I can see somebody saying if it’s [my biology] going to take over, then why would I even make an effort and try to change anything, if no matter what I do it’ll revert back to how I’m wired.


IO: So to that I would offer that in our biology there are several pieces that are autonomic, which means we don’t have conscious control over, like our breathing, our heartrate. Unless you are like a yogi who has had a ton of training to control it, or military training to learn how to adjust your heartrate, adjust your breathing, which most of us do not, those are autonomic responses.  


“So, for us understanding the role of biology, it’s really about awareness – the awareness of what is happening in our body, so that we have a different choice point to impact our energy and our physiology.”

For example, let’s say you’re in a meeting and you are very frustrated. You start to notice that your heartbeat has increased, you get warm, red in the face and for some people who are criers, you start to feel your eyes well up. So, your biology at that point is eliciting a stress response. There is something to your physiology that feels threatening in that moment.


It may not make sense to our conscious [mind], but to our subconscious mind it feels threatening.


So where understanding the role of biology comes in is if where you can start to notice and track, your physiological symptoms, then you can employ tools and strategies to help keep yourself from going over threshold. Or avoid going into a full stress response where you’re crying in a meeting, or you must excuse yourself from the meeting.


 “Those are some of the tools that we will briefly talk about [December 8th] – like grounding and resourcing.”

Without the awareness of our physiology, we are in some ways beholden to our biology. It’s going to do what it’s going to do; it’s going to dump all those stress chemicals in, and then we are going to have to wait 20 minutes or more to let those stress chemicals come down. So, if we can catch it before it goes over threshold that’s our choice point.


TT: To catch it [a physiological reaction] means using some of the tools?IO: Yes! And tracking – learning what’s happening on the inside of my body that’s telling me a stress response is coming.  

“The more we practice it, the better we get at it.”

Stay tuned for Part 2 of my conversation with Irene, where we discuss emotional intelligence, our biology and the intersection of the two that shows up in behaviors. Happy Thanksgiving everyone, and wishing that your biology takes over with calm, peace, laughter, and joy!


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Tonya Tiggett

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