In 2018 I found myself being held “captive” in an airport and negotiating with armed guards.
I had wrapped up a two-week cross-country series of workshops to women in technology seeking leadership tools and strategy, and planned to fly home through New Delhi so I could see THE Taj Mahal.

The Taj, as is frequently known to people who have traveled there, loomed magical and mystical in my imagination. I was so excited to see this mystical place in person. The catch was, I had only 12 total hours to get there and back to the airport, and the round trip was going to be 6 hours in the car due to traffic. That’s ok, I had planned this and had plenty of time. I even booked a hotel room inside the airport to get about 4 hours of rest after the Taj, shower, and hop on my flight home. Easy peasy.
The universe and hotel /airport policy had different plans.
As it turned out, due to heightened security concerns, hotel security would only allow guests to leave the hotel to go to the main concourse until 2 hours prior to scheduled flights. My travel agent, Lufthansa airlines, nor myself, were not aware that once you check-in, you can’t check out. Sounds like something out of a scary movie, and this was true. I was literally held captive.
Six Life and Leadership Tools Used in Negotiating with Armed Guards
TOOL 1: Know your limit (which in my case was a 6-hour window). As soon as I found out I couldn’t leave the interior hotel area after checking in, then attempting to leave to meet my private tour driver, I instantly did the math. Knowing my available time to the minute gave me a sense of power on how I could choose to spend my time, or not, to achieve my goal of seeing The Taj.
Upon realizing the hotel was serious about not allowing me to leave, thus ensued a 5-hour negotiation situation that progressively took place with hotel staff, then hotel security, airport security, airport information desk, Lufthansa International customer service, Lufthansa New Delhi customer service, armed guards, and one angel-on-earth.
TOOL 2: Have a back-up plan for peace of mind. I proactively decided that I would give up and check back into the hotel if 5 hours of my efforts wouldn’t get me to my end-result of seeing the Taj in person. At that time, I knew I would feel at peace because in the very least I gave it my full effort.
Back to the guards, they were the nicest out of all negotiating partners, and as armed guards, they also laughed every time I said, “The door is two feet away, the entire airport is exiting, can’t you just let me exit too?” They smiled and laughed and said no, as I would be considered a security breach since I had already checked into the hotel and was never supposed to have been allowed to get this far into the airport concourse. This then begs a bigger question, that you may be asking:
Why did I spend hours and hours going through these negotiations and not just give up and go back to my hotel?
I will answer that with a question of my own back to you: Why do any of us spend time negotiating at work or in other areas of our life when it may seem ridiculous? Because of purpose. Not just a purpose, but a purpose with a deep, heartfelt passion.
TOOL 3: Make it about everyone else more than yourself. For every interaction I stressed to each person that they had the power and authority to release me. I sincerely asked them to “Imagine how amazing it would be to create a life-changing experience for someone from across the globe,” by simply allowing me to exit the airport.
I channeled my passion and fueled their imagination. While all but one person turned me down, each person did help me to reach the next level of authority through these appeals to their own power, until I found that one person who was willing to say yes.
TOOL 4: Use as many positive words as possible. Even when some of my negotiating partners shamed me and guilted me with, “You should have… known this was the policy... known better… known you couldn’t do this…” * By using positive words, it created cohesion, positivity, helped everyone stay calm, and created possibility.
Did I ever feel like giving up? Yep, and yet I didn’t, because of regret.
TOOL 5: Channel thoughts of regret, which can be a key motivator. I knew I would regret giving up and yet still having time left in that 6-hour window to plead and persuade, to influence and to get an ultimate “yes.” I played this out over and over in my mind each time I was close to giving up, and it helped me to stay the course. Regret, as author Daniel Pink knows, can be an amazing driver to act and to have peace of mind that thwarts any regrets.
Slowly I made progress and began to see a steady way forward.
In my fifth hour I found a gentleman who took pity on me and had the authority to sign me out of the airport, with a promise from me that 1. I would tell no one and 2. I would return within a certain number of hours so they could hold my hotel room and my flight. Upon my exit, the guards were surprised I succeeded.
I felt the deepest, most immense gratitude for this man who signed me out at the risk of his own job security, and for the previous naysayer who had sent this angel-on-earth my way to assist me. I also felt immense relief to walk through the exit doors like all other passengers. Imagine my excitement that I not only succeeded in my negotiations; I was about to make a life-long dream come true.
TOOL 6: Express gratitude. No matter how abrupt, finger-pointing, exasperated, or annoyed my negotiating partners became (and trust me, they all expressed this, except of course the armed guards), I profusely thanked them for just listening to me and taking my request into consideration. I even apologized for interrupting their work with my situation. One of the most exasperated with me, was the one who sent the gentleman who signed me out of the airport. Sometimes your biggest ally can be through the least likely source.
I was about to make a life-long dream come true.

Upon arriving at the Taj with just one hour to explore before embarking on my 3-hour return to the airport, the soaking-wet rain let up. The late afternoon sun came out in orange, yellow, and purple hues to welcome me to Agra, and to showcase why everyone says the sun on the Taj is breathtaking and never the same on any given day. My guide said the rain lifted minutes before my arrival because the Taj wanted to give me a gift for the effort I had put forth to pay her homage.
What if we could pay homage to our career and to ourselves by pushing through adversity when we feel deep passion is still there to achieve a career goal because ____.

You fill in the blank with why your desire matters, based upon what you would also regret. It’s your dream and don’t let anyone tell you it’s not important nor impossible, not even armed guards.

* Lufthansa had never encountered this and did not know about this policy, nor had my travel agent, nor most of my friends back in India. I never found any language or notice in my registration either.