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The Good Neighbor Ripple Effect Could Be a Life Saver. Literally.

Writer's picture: Tonya TiggettTonya Tiggett
“A ripple effect occurs when an initial disturbance to a system propagates outward to disturb an increasingly larger portion of the system, like ripples expanding across the water when an object is dropped into it.” – Wikipedia Definition


My former neighbor Bill committed suicide two weeks ago. He was only 66 years old, lived alone for the past 11 years after his mother passed, and inhabited the same house for his entire life. I was fortunate that both Bill and his mother Betty dropped into my life as my neighbors when I moved into my first home beside them in 1995.


Bill and I would hold weekly, sometimes daily, conversations across my split rail fence that separated his driveway from my backyard, where I frequently tended to my flowers and my lawn, with Bill on the other side of the fence puttering around with a gardening or home-repair project. Ripple effect: I expanded my flower garden and mowed my lawn weekly.


Bill was a fountain of random information, and I welcomed his thoughts and advice on any of my home projects, as he was a do-it-yourself guy. He kept the home he shared with his elderly mother, Betty, in immaculate condition; I used to have a made-up image of Bill pruning the lawn on hands and knees with scissors to get the lawn just..snip...right..snip...down..snip...to the single..snip...blade. Bill was patient and never once in the 12 years I lived beside him did I ever see him hurry, rush, or get into a tizzy about anything. He was methodical and measured in all he did. Ripple effect: I edged my lawn and loved how neat and manicured it looked to mimic his.


Every summer Bill would blacktop his driveway to look as new as possible. It was not unusual that he would spend over 10 hours a day working outside on small repairs and improvements to his white-sided, brand-new-looking 1950s home. Ripple effect: I decided to use pavers left-over from the former owner of my house, all piled and covered in pine needles behind my garage, to expand my patio, and discovered that I love physical labor and the satisfaction from such a project, and have done multiple do-it-yourself projects ever since.


Bill and his mom visibly took great pride in their home, and I loved living next door to them, knowing that I never had to worry about my property value nor other issues that can arise when a neighbor neglects the upkeep of their home and doesn’t care about the impact on their neighbors as a result. Emotional ripple effect: Ease of mind that I had neighbors who cared. I know the importance of being a good neighbor who shows care.


Three weeks ago, Bill asked the folks who bought my house to be witnesses to his updated Last Will and Testament. They thought nothing of it, as Bill had dropped into their lives too like mine, and that’s what good neighbors do for one another.


Two weeks ago, the neighbor on the other side of my former house left me a voicemail saying Bill had passed and to call her for details. As I dialed Cheryl, I couldn’t fathom what would have happened to Bill. He walked for miles every day, refusing to allow me to offer him a ride anytime I would pass him more than an hour on foot from our neighborhood. His mother lived into her late 80s and also had walked frequently, and I wondered what sudden health issues he would have faced as his genetics and lifestyle would have indicated a long life.


Bill had hung himself in his garage. Being a planner until the end, he left a note for the mailman with instructions on where to find the body and the next of kin's contact information. Suicide never entered my mind as the cause of death. The mailman called the police.


As my former neighbor Cheryl broke the news, and we shared our respective shock and sadness, she also relayed that in the past couple of years Bill’s siding was in need of repair and the yard wasn’t being kept up. The National Institute of Mental Health indicates that one important sign of depression is loss of interest in hobbies. Bill’s hobby was suddenly neglected.


I have regret in not visiting Bill and my other neighbor Cheryl after I moved, to keep in touch with both of them. They were more than just neighbors, they were friends and caretakers of our neighborly culture. Cheryl and I have had dinner a couple of times and are Facebook friends. She is lucky to have a large family nearby, but Bill’s sister lived out of state. Other than interactions with neighbors, Bill never entertained anyone nor received a single guest that I ever saw, outside of his family. He did chat with his neighbors.  


Did anyone, including me, ever express how much we appreciated him?


Bill’s ripple effect on me as a first-time homeowner, was to appreciate how important good neighbors are, just like good co-workers and good managers. Having a crazy neighbor is stressful and even escalates into violent acts in the extreme. So do workplace dynamics. As the saying goes, people leave poor managers, not the job. People leave neighborhoods too. People also exit their own lives.


How does your team welcome people into the work neighborhood on day 1?


The first day I moved next to Bill, my other neighbor sent over her son to welcome me and let me know the trash pick-up schedule. The prideful way in which Bill and his mother kept their home, in addition to my neighbor Cheryl sending over her son, set a level of expectation and a high bar for the experience we wanted to have in our current neighborhood.


In 2007 I sold my house because I was remarrying and moving across town to live with my fiancé. That original neighbor experience was an intentional factor in my fiancé and me eventually moving from his house because those neighbors began neglecting their property, and people didn't converse over the fence. We felt alone and disconnected. Before moving into our current house, we drove by total strangers who were walking, jogging, or biking and every single day, someone waved at us. That "pre-day 1" experience helped confirm our decision to want to live where we do now.


Effective leadership is about connectedness, about inclusion, about belonging, about being a “good neighbor,” and about acknowledging people's ripple effects.



We are lucky now to live among welcoming, helpful, vigilant, conversational, friendly, funny, and proud-of-their-homes neighbors. That’s what it was like to live next to Bill and his mom Betty, and Cheryl.


I write about leadership, and I facilitate dozens upon dozens of programs and keynotes annually on topics about confidence, next level leadership, boldness, career strategy, and sponsorship. Leadership is about connectedness, about inclusion, about belonging, about being a “good neighbor,” and about acknowledging peoples’ ripple effects.


When was the last time you picked up a phone, sent a text or email, wrote a letter or card, to express the ripple effect someone in your life has had on you and why they matter?


When was the last time you expressed this to a member of your team or your team as a whole? Who knows if that single expression could be the tiny, micro-ripple that allows someone to see the good in themselves and the greater good they affect?


I’m not saying that my expression of gratitude to Bill would have saved him. What I am saying is that I wish that he had known that he mattered, and how he mattered to me, as my neighbor and as my across-the-fence friend.


It’s been 16 years since I moved, and Bill’s ripple effect still lives on in how my husband and I keep our home, take pride in our yard, and actively interact with our neighbors. We hope that it matters.


Thank you to Jill Marcinick, Christy Farnbauch, Reverend Jim in Texas, Darlene Magold, Maureen Grant, Kelley Morris, Phillitia Charlton, Rob Lingelbaugh, Kim Huebner, Kim Oztunc, and my entire Goldman Sachs 10K Small Business Cincinnati Cohort 4 and Advisors for sharing with me that you care, and in some cases, the effects and affects of my ripple. Your kindness, care, and concern kept me going over the past year, more than you will ever know.


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Tonya Tiggett

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